I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
