smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
