I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
