The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i dont even know how to be here
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
