Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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