I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize
