She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
