hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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