Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
