There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
