I think I just saw someone hide a body.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
