I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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