...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
