How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize