I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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