I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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