Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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