I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
