Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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