you mean i was at the winter classic?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
whose parrot is this?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm sobbing to NWA
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
