Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
