reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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