Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
