I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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