she woke up with a sticky ear
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
