And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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