Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
