why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
