Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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