Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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