Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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