she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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