So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
