and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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