We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
