he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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