I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
