do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
