i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
