My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
