Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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