You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
