My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
