her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
