I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
