There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
