let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize