check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Nicole vs. Life
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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