We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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