Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
