Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize