cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
