3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
