Pregnant stripper...not hot.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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