So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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