the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
