Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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