I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
