that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
