It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
