i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
