I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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