you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
